please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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