i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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