just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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