Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
