not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize