new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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