I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
