Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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