I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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