I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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