how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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