I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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