i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
