so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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