what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I'm getting married
To pizza
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
