eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
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