is your mom at the bar?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
