that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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