I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
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