do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
