next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Randomize
