Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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