Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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