Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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