look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Randomize
