Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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