is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
