so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I just forgot I was standing up.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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