You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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