Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
