mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
