he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
