Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize