I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
