Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
