Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
