Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
