Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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