yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I need to calm my uterus...
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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