this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
