I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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