If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
i just sent this text using only my big toe
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
