is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
