god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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