"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
