69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
