This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
