ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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