Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
this boner is exhausting
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
