So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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