would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
