I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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