Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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