id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize