can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
