Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Randomize
