Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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