tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
i now understand why vodka
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize