I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
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