I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
