the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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