ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
